…bygones

All of this talk, this ‘yadda yadda yadda’ about being a writer, and today, finally, I got the opportunity.

I’ll save you the suspense and say, that God, yes, I took it; don’t look at me like that!

As many of you know, I’ve been job hunting for a while now, and today for some reason I broke my own rule about not looking at jobs on a particular website (which I shall not name) as it has a reputation (with me anyway) for being a trolling site for marketing ploys, meanness and sometimes, absolute gash.

I saw an ad which caught my attention, I applied for it, and low and behold, not only is the company legit, but they’ve hired me on the spot. Smelling salts, at one point, would not have been totally inappropriate.

So, technically, I’m a writer. I write, and I am paid for it, and even though it’s only a month-long contract, I’m quite happy with it. Not only do I get to write; but I can also do it in my slippers because, hey, there’s no office hours.

Too good to be true? Maybe. Or maybe, Sunshine, I’m just one of the lucky ones.

I got my rejection letter today.

I really had high hopes that it was sewn up. I was very confident, maybe even too confident. But it wasn’t meant to be, either because I wasn’t a right fit for the company, or perhaps they had seen someone who had a bit more experience than me.

In any case, I’ve spent the day convincing myself that I didn’t really want the job anyway, that the company is full of fools and that there is a better job out there which is more suited to me.

So, a day of moping and looking like my poor hyacinth here; and tomorrow, I’ll get back on the horse, come out with guns blazing and ride victorious. And maybe from now on, I’ll not use so many metaphors in one post.

But no promises.

I’ve decided to enter into the Portrait category of a photography competition (with no real view of winning, I’m not that good yet). So, after texting a few friends, I finally have a handful of models willing to pose for me.

KittyKate is my first victim. I took her to the Botanic Gardens yesterday and snapped away a roll of film. While I recognise that I have a lot to work on as far as composition and situation; I think I’m getting a bit better.

But I’d like some opinions, if you don’t mind lending me a bit of time. You can either comment here, on my Flickr, or email me. I look forward to reading what you think!

Kate

Day 4 of my holiday was uneventful; but in the grand scheme of things, it gave me an opportunity to realise a few things.

First thing this morning, over my cup of coffee, I decided that I could definately be a woman of leisure.

By the time I got to the bottom of the cup, I had decided that I was bored and was definately not the type of person who doesn’t need a job.

However, by this evening, I was filling my time taking silly photographs, and testing my poor wee Canon Powershot to its maximum potential.

Here’s a couple of pictures I came up with:

Now that the Bosses are back and things are pretty much back to normal, I’ve decided to take a holiday of my own. I’m not going anywhere in particular, but it’s going to be a busy week socially (Colinopolous gets married on Thursday!!!) so I figured I’d just take the entire week off.

Yesterday was the first official day of my holiday. Kev and I went with a handful of friends to Portobello Beach for Chris’s b-day. The weather was absolutely perfect; sunny but not too hot; brief moments of relief from a couple of obliging clouds.

We played frisbee in our bare feet; fine, warm sand sifting through our toes. We ran into the surf, we enjoyed an almost endless buffet of barbeque, and nibbled on perfectly sweetened strawberries stewing in balsamic sauce.

Perfect.

The best part was, I left my phone at home (by accident), but I didn’t care. And I didn’t have a watch on me, and I didn’t care about that either. It was nice to just exist and play and be.

And I got dirty as well, which I haven’t done since I was a kid. I don’t really like getting dirty anymore; I don’t like having anything under my fingernails, much less a million grains of dirty sand. But yesterday, I relished plunging my hands into the warm sand, feeling the cooler sand underneath.

Excellent day. That’s what I wanted for my holiday. Now if I could have 6 more days of something similar.

I shot the morning in the back
with my red wings on,
told the Sun he’d better go back down.
If I can find a book of matches,
I’m gonna burn this hotel down
– Tom Waits

I need some icing for this cake I’m making.
– Me

I’m not a fan of complaining and bitching unabashedly in my journal here (I saw you, you and YOU roll your eyes. Shut up.) however, today, I’m just going to give in to my complete desparation and frustration and just let loose.

The day started out great. Great mood. Great coffee. Decent Cheerios. Singing the shower, the whole bit.

Met Last Years Girl for lunch, which was lovely. And I was very pleased to see her again for the first time in absolute yonks.

Everything was grand. And then it swooshed downhill like a sadistic rollercoaster ride through hell.

(Yes, I realise I’m being overdramatic, but I never indulge in dramatics, so just bear with me.)

I went to my mobile phone provider because, honestly, my phone is a piece of poo. This is the second handset I’ve had of this particular model, because the first one just decided it couldn’t be bothered dialing, or texting. All it really was capable of, in the end, was telling the right time. Ace.

So, here I am with my new handset, which has decided that it, too, cannot be bothered performing the functions for which it was designed, and worse than that, has acquired a sadistic sense of artificial intelligence and decided to end my calls and reboot itself spontaneously.

Alas, my mobile phone provider has decided they can do nothing about any of this because my contract isn’t due to expire until December. They are quite happy for me to not have a working phone, yet still pay for it, for the next five or so months. They won’t even let me downgrade to an older model so that at least I can have a phone which works.

Evil bastards.

Feeling frustrated and a little blue, I decided to waltz into Snappy Snaps and pick up the roll of film I’d given them to develop on Saturday. Surely that will cheer me up.

Now, the last time I gave them a roll to develop, they said the roll was blank. I thought maybe this had been a mistake on my part, or that there had been something wrong with the roll itself; so I dropped this one off knowing that I’d loaded the film correctly, and had exposed each frame, etc.

Nope. It’s blank.
[The tech at Snappy Snaps suggested that I wasn't loading the film correctly. I had to struggle to keep my composure at such an absurd suggestion.]

All of this means that my camera is… well…fucked (for lack of a more technical term for it).

My baby. She’s never let me down. She’s never given me a shoddy print. She’s my joy. How could she do this to me? Especially when I’ve now got the confidence to enter into a photography competition?

So, I’ve learned in one day that two of my essential components of my livelihood have let me down.

As I trudged home, listening to the husky crooning of Mr Tom Waits, I thought to myself, ‘Ok, Fate. This is it.’ And took off my white glove, smacked Fate in the puss, tossed the glove on the ground and challenged him/it to a dual.

Is that all you’ve got? Surely, there must be a third disappointment today.

It’s red, and beautiful, and not £500. It just ticks all the boxes.

When I started to become seriously interested in photography, after one Christmas when I received a grey and pink Polaroid instant, I began scouring garage sales and flea markets for a Rollei, which I considered to be one of the greatest and most definitive cameras.

Of course, I knew nothing about cameras, but I worshipped the Rollei, and once, thinking I could get a cheap one online, discovered that a Rollei is the sort of camera which gets more expensive the older it gets.

Yesterday, l bought a copy of Black and White Photography magazine (becuase I like to torture myself, you see); and I was well-impressed. Most photography magazines are pushing for everyone to get a digital and dispense with the old-fashioned film malarky. This magazine, however, is actually having a competition on printing, which, Ohhhh….yeah….that’s so cool.

Anyhow, while I’ve been feeling pretty blue lately about not being able to afford to get my Canon EOS 450D anytime soon, I read my B&W Photography, and felt much better about the world.

And now I have a new object of desire, much more within reach; an attainable goal, and yes, a photography project in mind.

So, I was lying in bed this morning, planning out what I was going to wear, for after all, it is St Patrick’s day today.

I decided on my green flecked blouse, with the little tie, a green knit vest and little green skirt. By the time I got up, I had nixed the idea of a skirt, and of course, the green knit vest. No need to overdo it, right?

And now here I am, a full 11 hours later and I realise that I didn’t need to plan out an outfit for wearing green today.

My little green nose ring could have taken care of it all by its wee self.

Ok, I’ve been tagged by Wee Travellings to do this quiz; and I shall, to the best of my abilities, answer every question.

So here it goes!!

When was the last time you splurged on a gift for yourself? On New Year’s Eve, I bought myself a lovely party dress from a boutique nearby. I’d been eyeing it up for over a week, and when the day finally came, and no dress for The Bells, I ran down to the shop and bought it. Not a single speck of buyer’s remorse afterward. I love it.

Have you ever bought yourself a gift for Christmas, Valentine’s Day, a birthday or any other occasion and then wrapped it up and pretended it was from someone else? I have bought something for myself from another person…like when someone gives me money for a birthday or something, but I’ve never gone so far as to wrap it up and pretend it was from that person.

Have you ever sent yourself flowers, chocolates or anything else to your place of employment so it seemed as if someone else were sending you a gift? No, but I’ve thought about it.

How often do you text message? Not very often, maybe a few times a day, unless there’s a good conversation going. I find texting on my new phone very cumbersome, and I get frustrated when predictive text doesn’t know what I’m trying to say. Most of the time, if it’s a long text, I’ll just phone the person instead.

Is there someone you’d like to fix things with? Yes…maybe. I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s broken. I don’t like it when people just cut others off without explaining why. It may make them feel important and dominant, but really it’s just cowardly.

Are there any previous relationships you wish could have lasted longer? No. Most of the time, past relationships have lasted well longer than they should have.

When do you blow out the candles? When it’s time to go to bed? Really, didn’t know what this question meant at first. April 3.

Do you give out second chances too easily? Yes, and third and fourth and maybe fifth chances. I tend to believe in the best of people, sometimes to my own detriment. I’m always on the lookout for someone who will surprise me.

What’s the next big decision you will have to make? How big is big? I guess what to do with those chicken breasts I am thawing.

If you could cuddle with anyone right now, who would you pick, and why? Kev. I miss him. Even though we’re both in the city limits, my work schedule is so messed up that I haven’t really seen him in a couple days.

Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? People talk crap about me all the time. The fact that I don’t care does not seem to sway them at all.

Who was the last person to REALLY piss you off? Boss1. Still not really ready to confront him about it.

Would you ever want to be a supermodel? For one day, yes. Just so I could get all the freebies and then would flee the scene.

Do you know what you will wear tomorrow? Well, I was going to wear jammies, but now it’ll be jeans and some sort of jumper.

You motivation for tomorrow? Coffee, and laughter amongst friends.

What is the last thing you put your lips against? Kev’s lips.

Have you ever gone two or more days without changing your underwear? No, but I have gone commando when there’s no clean underwear to be had.

Have you ever accidently eaten an insect? Yes, most memorably on my way speeding down a very steep hill on my bike when I was in elementary school. I brushed my teeth vigourously when I got home.

What serial killer do you find most disturbing? The ones still out there that I don’t know about.

Are you ever purposely irritating? Yes, from time to time, and I relish it.

Are you cheating on your significant other right now? yes, with my job, my camera and the internet.

Are you contemplating cheating on your significant other right now? Is that something one contemplates?

When was the last time you sat down and watched kiddie cartoons? On Christmas day, I watched Morph.

Do you sleep with one leg out from the covers? Yes, but it’s usually because the Duvet Hog has rolled over on most of the duvet.

Do you have any text messages that you would be embarrassed to let your mom read? No, I think my mom would find most of my txts boring.

How old would you be when you finally have kids/ or next kids? Dunno…I kinda hope by the time I’m 35.

Have you ever thought about converting to a new religion? Yes, but it doesn’t ever last long. I like the romanticism of religion and admire those who believe whole-heartedly in the truth of their faith.

Do you know anyone with the same first name as you? Not personally. We are very rare, and we are mostly men.

When was the last time you went to church? When my grandfather died.

Would you rather eat a Milky Way or eat a Twix? Twix.

Do you like that new shoe smell? Yes, particularly new ballet shoes.

Do you like the taste of licorice? Ugh. No.

Did you ever flip out on a teacher and walk out of a class? Yes, once in the 4th grade when I walked out of Square Dancing, and then again in high school when I walked out of my speech class because my teacher was brutally insulting my name. In that case, I walked straight to my school counsellor and lodged a complaint against him.

If you were to compare your real family to a TV family, which one would they closely resemble? Sorry, mom….Rosanne.

What advice would you give to a new blogger? Write for yourself and don’t stop updating.

What imaginary pet would you love to own? Gromit.

What was your favorite book as a child? Starring Sally J Freedman as Herself by Judy Blume and then Where The Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls

Out of all the cars you owned which one was your favorite? My little 88 Ford Escort. No air conditioning and I drove it until it died; but she was mine, and she was good to me.

What is the coldest place/state that you ever visited? My home state.

As a child did you ever walk to school or carry your lunch? Yes to both; until I finally got a bike.

Ever rode in a hot air balloon? Not yet!!

Have you ever fainted? I came close once due to heat stroke. Not a nice feeling.

What is your favorite quote? ‘I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.’ – Voltaire

Ok, after taking this quiz 1.5 times (stupid server crash); I’m not tagging anyone (and therefore tagging everyone). So go on and take the quiz (or not); but remember, I’d love to read your answers!!